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Thursday, September 04, 2003


All things Russian


“Mr. Speaker, in August 1994, after a champagne lunch, Boris Yeltsin fell off a platform in Germany. In September 1994 Boris was too drunk to get off a plane in Ireland. In February 1995, after an in-flight party, Boris had to be carried by aides off his plane. Just recently in July, Boris mysteriously disappeared for 7 days right before his election, and yesterday Boris Yeltsin missed a meeting with almost Santa Claus, Vice President Al Gore, but Vice President Al Gore came to his defense and said, `Boris looks good to me.'
I ask, Mr. Speaker, compared to who? Jack Daniels? Foster Brooks?”

-Congressman James Traficant of Ohio on July 6th 1996- Traficant was sentenced to eight years in prison after being found guilty of bribery, racketeering, tax evasion, and obstruction of justice. In all, he was convicted on 10 federal charges. In July 1996 the U.S. House of Representatives voted, 420–1, to expel him.


“One of the watchwords of our dialogue with Russia is integration – the right kind of integration.”

Strobe Talbott

From: A Farewell to Flashman: American Policy in the Caucasus and Central Asia
An Address by Deputy Secretary of State Strobe Talbot at the Central Asia Institute – Johns Hopkins University Washington – July 21 1997


A quote from an impromptu by Talbott- commenting on Yeltsin's antics:

“Yeltsin called the President on Inauguration Day in 1993 to say congratulations. He was drunk. And he got pretty roaring during the first summit meeting they had in Vancouver and when I went to meet him at the airport in September 1994. He could barely get off the plane. That was the night that he was staggering around in his underpants shouting for pizza. It was a huge problem and we did our best not to add to the public embarrassment.”


The intricacies of the Russian soul are complex and paradoxical. Amsterdam; my city of residence; is seeing an increasing migration of Russians flocking to our city, either posing as ‘tourists’ or staying permanently, legally or otherwise.
Astrologically, the Russian people resort under the Pisces sign. They’re a special breed of ‘Passion fish’; maladjusted to the other souls of the Zodiac, living in a bubble of their own: filled to capacity with dedicated and invigorating substances. Judging from recent news reports they make for good company and apparently possess of a great sense of humor…

The first known vodka distillery in Russian history was built in Novgorod in 1147. This event heralded the beginning of industrial production of alcoholic beverage in Russia. The Novgorodians called their brew ‘Vodya’, and introduced- and organized the first production of vodka in Moscow, that the Moscovites would eventually call ‘Vodka’, meaning ‘boiled wine’. Today annual alcohol consumption per capita in Russia amounts to 14 ltrs of pure alcohol per annum.1200+ factories are engaged in supplying alcoholic beverages in Russia, distributed by 3000 wholesalers, of which 196 operate in St Petersburg alone.


Beer instead

Moscow- A quiet revolution is under way, playing out in bars as well as on the streets. The country famed for its vodka swilling is turning quite dramatically to pale ales, stouts and their cousins. Consumption of beer per capita has nearly tripled in the last six years. And marketing firms predict sales of beer will outpace sales of vodka this year for the first time in Russia.

‘People are switching from stronger drinks to beer,’ said Maria Vanifatora, director of the Business Analitica marketing agency’s retail index, which estimates that Russians will spend $6,5 billion on beer this year, compared with $6,3 billion on vodka. In Russian history every attempt to limit vodka consumption by decree has failed spectacularly, from the czars and Lenin, right up to Mikhail Gorbachev’s anti-alcohol program in the 1980s. Yet what the Kremlin failed to achieve, modern breweries have begun to accomplish.

‘The Russian character, the Russian nature is not changed by this fact,’ sniffed Nikolai Krivomazov, editor of Russian Vodka Magazine. ‘Strong character, strong drink. That’s the Russian character.’
‘The Russian soul is a mystery,’ said Alexander Boyarkov, 52, who has owned the ‘Russian Style Bar; since the end of Communism in 1991. ‘That’s how we drink. If you’ve got a problem, you drink. If you’re happy, you drink. If you go on a picnic, you drink. That’s how we have fun. But now in Western market economy, we don’t have as much time. Everybody’s too busy, and you can’t drink as much.’

Source: (abridged) - Washington Post


From Russia, with love

Vatican City- The Vatican expressed outrage after a church property in Moscow was turned into a brothel, saying the incident was part of what the church sees as a long-running smear campaign against the Roman Catholics in Russia. In a statement the Vatican said Franciscan friars in the Russian capital had rented out one of their apartments to a private individual who had assured them it would be used for ‘charitable purposes.’ Instead it became a brothel with prostitutes dressed as n u n s, the Vatican said. Pope John Paul’s spokesman, Jaoquin Navarro-Valls, branded the incident ‘a despicable operation’ designed to discredit the brothers ‘and through them the Catholic Church.’

Source: (abridged) - Reuters


Vodka gene discovered in Russians

A Russian man can drink ten times as much as a European can. This is not just a thing to say, it has been scientifically proved. The scientists of the Russian University for national friendship found out that this peculiarity of Russian people was explained with the so-called Asian gene.
A human being with such a gene gets drunk ten times as slower, constantly having the not-yet-enough feeling, while drinking. However, the gene does not save anyone from alcohol poisoning. Its production in a human organism, which has the Asian gene, is ten times as faster too. This explains why Russian people die of alcohol more often than other nations do.
Pursuant to the information from the Moscow Psychiatric Research Institute, Russia takes one of the top places in the world in terms of the alcohol consumption. Vodka is the queen of Russian strong drinks, but its history is not really long. Alcohol appeared in Russia only in the 14th century, whereas the alcohol history of Europe counts thousands of years.


posted by Walter at 9/04/2003

Sunday, August 31, 2003

YOUR kind of FLAVA

Remix of various editorials compiled from THE FACE – September 2003


Dr. van Stress’
Semen Dispenser-
The kick that kills
Boredom forever-
Stripperella and
Mello Mo
Arpeggio versus the
Turquoise sling
Play the Haro and the
Hotels with Morphine
Provide the Thermage-
We’ll meet for Botox
Sympathectomy and
Lasered testicles-
Poke Amnesty
In the Crack-
Pelle Pelle
Pole and Posh
The resurrection of the
Scruffy crotch-
High class thinking and
Cutting edge Couture-
The Spirit of Carnival
Birth of the Pouffe
Demise of the Burlesque
Real-Real People
May be a hazard to
Your health-
Bungled routines
Clogged runways
Collagen Blues
Starched tablecloths
Vanilla sheets
A ready wardrobe
For the beady-eyed-
Queen Quack
The Captain
The Sparrow
The Periwinkle
Ferdinand Porsche
Cucci and the Pole:
Prerequisites for a
Tsunami love affair-
Formulas flash on
Building-sized screens:
Trippy hep-cats
Nitrous Battle-Stars
Seasoned Cascadeurs
Uptown girls and
Frenzied paparazzi are
Force-fed by
Scrolling prompters-
A Superhip throng goes
Return of the Mullet
The Hulk
The God of Fuck
Fellini and The Pieta-
Officially mainstreamed:
Wristbags- Rat tails
Trucker hats
Mobile Terriers
Guinea pigs
Rats of Rapture-
This is the domain of
The Institute-Sans-Accolades-
The Black Elk
The Bore Gal
The Bantu butt
The curse of Braille
Dance of the Baboons
The Ibiza billion
The Buffet and the Crow-

Surefire Outrageous-

A Gateau for keeps
Palatable Excursions
For the Rich and
The Deep-


© 2003 Walt

posted by Walter at 8/31/2003